he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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