Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
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SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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