More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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