Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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