Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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