I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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