I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
the raccoons are back...
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