Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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