He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
try to milk me bitch
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