This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize