you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
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College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
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Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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