Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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