This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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