I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize