Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
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You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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