I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
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I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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