Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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