sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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