Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize