420 ftw
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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