I am in a vortex of obligation.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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