I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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