his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize