We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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