my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We need a shit load of segways right now
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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