Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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