Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
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I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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