Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize