Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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