HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
