i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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