If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize