I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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