oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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