Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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