Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
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He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I need a burrito and a hug.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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