Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
please don't ironically join a cult
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