Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize