There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
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Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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It's shark week go big or go home
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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