I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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