I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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