does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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