i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
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i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
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I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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