After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
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The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
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You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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