so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize