he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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