I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize