Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize