thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
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I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
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That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
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