you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
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She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
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I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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