Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
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I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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