she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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